


Family is the anchor (that holds us through life's storms)

by stephmcx



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Adoption, Episode Related, Episode: s04e07 Ua Nalohia (In Deep), Established Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Hammocks, POV Mary Ann McGarrett, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26513272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephmcx/pseuds/stephmcx
Summary: “Scoot over,” she says and moves to climb into the hammock next to Steve. He makes room for her as best as he can while holding Joanie, it takes some arranging of limbs and by the time Mary is settled comfortably against Steve’s side the hammock is swinging wildly.“Do you remember when we sat in here as kids?” Mary asks, thinking back to the many happy moments they had together before everything fell apart.Coda to 4x07; written for the H50 Discord Challenge #2: Snuggles and Hammocks.
Relationships: Mary Ann McGarrett & Steve McGarrett
Comments: 20
Kudos: 60
Collections: H50 Writers Club Discord Challenges, Snuggles and Hammocks





	Family is the anchor (that holds us through life's storms)

**Author's Note:**

> 4x07 is the episode where Mary comes to Hawaii for a surprise visit and to introduce her newly adopted daughter Joan to Steve. 
> 
> I always meant to write this conversation between Mary and Steve because I feel like it is missing from the episode. The H50 Discord challenge finally gave me the inspiration for it!

“Hello! It’s me,” Mary yells as she steps into the house and kicks the front door shut behind her, out of habit, like she always used to do when she was a kid. 

She doesn’t get an answer though, in fact the house is completely quiet and belatedly she realises that kicking the door shut is maybe not such a great thing to do in case Joanie just went to sleep. She cringes at her own stupidity. _You’re still learning how to be a mom_ she tells herself, like she had practised with her therapist, and she resolutely pushes the familiar doubts away that are threatening to creep up on her.

She puts her shopping bags down on the recliner, and takes a look around. No signs of her brother—or her daughter.

“Steve?” She calls out, carefully now and voice low. “I’m back!”

There’s still no answer, but she notices the open door that leads out to the lanai. Mary toes off her shoes and heads over to explore. She doesn’t find Steve on the lanai either, and there’s also no sign of him down at the beach. Mary starts walking through the garden and around the house when she sees them—and she can’t help the happy smile that inevitably appears on her face.

Steve is lying in the hammock that has been hanging in the shadows between the trees for as long as she can remember. He has baby Joanie cradled on his chest, one big hand on her small back to keep her secure and apparently they’re both asleep.

Mary tiptoes closer and pulls her cell phone out of the back pocket of her jeans shorts. This moment has to be captured in a photo, the image of her tough-as-nails big brother all cuddly with her sleeping baby is something she hadn’t known she needed to see so bad. They both look peaceful and relaxed and so freaking adorable, she could die of the cuteness!

When she is just a few feet away from the hammock, Mary holds up her cell phone and takes a few seconds to find the best angle. She manages to get exactly one shot before Steve opens his eyes and stares at her, the soft clicking noise of her phone apparently enough to give her away and wake him up.

“You didn’t—“ he says, but stops short when Mary holds up her phone in triumph. She half expects him to lunge at her to get to the phone, but he keeps completely still—for Joanie’s benefit she realises as he quickly looks down and checks on her. 

“I just did,” she answers gleefully. Oh, the opportunities to blackmail Steve with this picture will be endless! Plus, she’s sure the leverage will work on Danny, too, he’ll be dying to see such a picture of Steve.

“Go back to sleep,” Mary tells him, “I didn’t mean to wake you up!”

“I wasn’t sleeping,” Steve answers in a half-whisper. “I wouldn’t risk Joanie falling out if I lost my hold on her. But she loves swaying in the hammock.” 

Joanie choses this moment and starts to move, grabbing at Steve’s shirt with her tiny hands. Steve immediately starts rubbing soothing circles on Joanie’s back, soft and carefully, and she smiles as she falls back asleep within seconds. He gently pulls out the pacifier from where it got stuck between Joanie’s cheek and his chest and Mary’s heart melts a little more.

She briefly wonders if Steve got a crash course Baby 101 from Danny sometime during the last days. Who would have thought Steve was capable of such profound parental instincts?

“She has grown on you, hasn’t she?” Mary smiles, and by now she doesn’t care anymore how goofy it might look. 

“A little bit,” Steve says and grins back at her. “Okay, a lot. She’s adorable, Mary.”

They both look at the sleeping baby, enthralled by the smile ghosting over her small face as she dreams and the way she smacks her lips like she can’t wait for the next bottle of milk.

“I get that you want kids,” Steve says after a while, “but why like this? On your own?” 

Mary sighs. She’d known she wouldn’t get out of this talk, so they might as well get it over with now.

“Scoot over,” she says and moves to climb into the hammock next to Steve. He makes room for her as best as he can while holding Joanie, it takes some arranging of limbs and by the time Mary is settled comfortably against Steve’s side the hammock is swinging wildly.

“Do you remember when we sat in here as kids?” Mary asks, thinking back to the many happy moments they had together before everything fell apart.

“What, like hiding in here so mom wouldn’t find us?” Steve says, and with a laugh he adds, “or the time Mamo _did_ find us and he turned over the hammock so we both fell out, only your foot got tangled and stuck in the netting?”

“Yeah,” Mary lets out a snort and nudges Steve’s calf with her foot, “and you were supposed to help me out of there, only all you did was laugh at me!” To be fair, she could easily have freed herself, only she had been laughing too hard herself.

“Or remember when we lay in here with dad and looked at the stars? When he explained the signs to us?” she asks and when Steve hums in agreement, she keeps on talking. “I always dreamed of having my own family, you know, white picket fence and all. I guess… I wanted to have what we had… before…” 

She trails off. It had always been her secret dream, find a decent guy, have a kid or maybe two or three, and make up for all that she’d lost. But something always happened, none of her relationships lasted and each time it felt like the dream slipped through her fingers, each time a little further away and she feared in the end it would become unreachable.

“I understand that, Mary, I really do—” Steve says, but Mary talks right over him.

“Joan’s mom was still a teenager. She’s only 15 and she’s the granddaughter of Aunt Deb’s friend Liz—“

“Wait! Hold on a sec—“ Steve interrupts her. “Are you telling me Aunt Deb is in on this?”

“Of course she is, what do you think?” Mary looks at him, a little speechless. Sometimes she thinks the Navy sent her brother to another planet. How can he be so clever and smart in his job and so dense and naive in everyday life? It sometimes seems like even after four years he doesn’t have a clue how the civilian world works.

“Sometimes I don’t know what you think of me,” Mary says. “I have thought this through. I have Aunt Deb and I have friends who will help me. I have plans and backup plans. Do you really think Child Protection Service would have approved without double and triple checking me? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to adopt a child?”

Mary can feel tears stinging in her eyes and quickly looks away, out towards the ocean, but she can’t suppress the hiccuped sobs pouring out of her. All her anxiety is popping back up now, the time while she had waited for the approval had been full of uncertainties and insecurities and _great!_ Now she’s crying.

“Mare, hey, I’m sorry,” Steve says.

“Don’t you think I’m terrified I’m a bad mom?” she sobs, helplessly.

There’s some jostling, a jolt making the hammock swing again, Joanie making some dissatisfied noises in her sleep and then Steve’s arm is around Mary’s shoulders, pulling her close to his side.

“Mary, listen to me. You’ll be doing great,” Steve tells her. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. I was… I was just surprised. I didn’t know how important this was to you.”

“I never told you,” she admits, wiping the tears off her face.

They are both quiet for a while, and Mary soaks up the warmth and comfort Steve is offering like a sponge. There’s so much still untold between them, so many years lost, and that’s why it’s so damn important to her to get Steve’s acceptance. It’s why she came here with Joanie in the first place—

“I never thought it was an option for me, having my own family,” Steve says and the sad tone in his voice breaks her heart. “And even if it was, with my job… I’d never want a kid live through what we went through.”

“Oh, Steve”, she says and reaches for his hand to squeeze it hard. “Don’t you see? You have a family. You have a house and a husband and a little girl—“

“What? No—“

“C’mon. You and Danny are as good as married, admit it. And Grace is here all the time she’s with Danny, right? Don’t you always tell me what you guys get up to together? Hiking, surfing, the zoo… a freaking fashion show?”

A small smile crosses Steve’s face, probably at the memory, but then he shakes his head.

“No, it’s different. I’m not a father figure to Grace, I’m not Step-Stan, I’m just Uncle Steve—“

Now Mary has got to smack him for his stupidity and she hits his thigh with the back of her free hand.

“Think about it—“ she says, but before she can elaborate she gets interrupted by Joanie, who’s waking up now and starts to make noises. Mary picks up the pacifier from where Steve still holds it with his fingertip and gives it to Joan—who spits it right back out.

Mary laughs, but her baby is getting more and more restless. She releases Steve’s hand and reaches over to pick Joanie up and take her into her own arms. As soon as Joanie is settled and rests on Mary’s chest she calms down, surrounded by the familiar feel and smell and Mary rubbing her back soothingly.

“Look at that, you’re a great mom!” Steve tells her and tightens his hold around her shoulders. “We’re family, too, Mare, you and me and Joanie.”

To Mary’s surprise he presses a short kiss on the top of her head and she almost starts crying again, out of happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! ♥
> 
> I'm also on tumblr: [stephmcx](http://stephmcx.tumblr.com).  
> Come say hi, if you like!


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